Twilight: PARENTAL CONTROL
by Yoga Girl
Summary: Charlie doesn't like Edward. He's about to fix Bella up with two dates... poor Edward must watch from his livingroom and endure the whole thing.
1. Charlie Decides

_For anyone who likes Parental Control on MTV, I just randomly thought of using Twilight characters as the dates and stuff. XD I honestly don't know where it came from, but here it is!_

Charlie Swan looked at both Edward and Bella, who were sitting formally on the couch. Edward's face looked tense with hidden anger.

"Well, I have something to tell you, Bells," he said, purposefully keeping Edward out of the conversation. Bella nervously squeezed Edward's hand. "Does it really have to be in front of Edward?"

Charlie smiled smugly. "Well, yeah. You know that television show… Parental Control?"

Bella looked completely befuddled. He sighed. "It's that dating show on MTV."

She stood up abruptly. "No, Dad, please don't say what I think you're going to say!"

"We're in the show tomorrow!" Charlie exclaimed cheerfully, ignoring his daughter's protest. "Edward, I'm afraid you'll have to stay here and watch," he added, glancing over at him to watch his reaction. A muscle twitched in Edward's jaw as he gritted his teeth.

"Dad, no this is ridiculous!" Bella cried, getting closer to Edward. "You know I don't want any other options."

"Well, I've got to go meet some potentials down at the station," Charlie said, clearly enjoying the look of disgruntlement on Edward's face.

Bella shot up out of the couch again, still holding onto his hand. "I knew you were planning something when I saw you comb your hair!" she accused. Edward gently pulled her back down to him.

"Don't get yourself so upset, Bella," Edward soothed, though anyone could see he was furious himself. Charlie pointed at him. "See? Bella, this is why I'm doing this! He controls you! You aren't even your own person anymore… you have to constantly consult with your _boyfriend_." He used boyfriend like a dirty word, shooting bullets at Edward for a second before returning his eyes to Bella. "I'm off to the station…" he decided, standing up and stretching. "I'll see _you_ later," he said offhandedly to Edward. Edward just nodded once, his whole figure tense.

When Charlie left, Bella looked at Edward. "You know I love you," she reminded him, worried that he might be thinking the worse again.

"I love you, too," Edward said, trying to lighten up. Bella reached up and smoothed his brow line, frowning.

"It's only two dates… what's the worse that can happen?"

************AT THE STATION***************

Charlie tapped his papers against the messy office desk he worked at and peered at the first name on the list. His smiled a little when he saw the first name.

"Mike Newton," he called out. Mike looked up anxiously, and then made his way through the chattering crowd of boys.

"Hey," Charlie greeted, grinning. He held out his hand. Mike took it nervously, glancing around. "Nice office you have," he mumbled, sitting down on the folding chair across from Officer Swan's desk.

Charlie smiled. "No need to be nervous," he assured him.

"Yeah," Mike said doubtfully, clenching his hands together.

"So, what do you look for in a girl?" Charlie asked, glancing down at his papers. Mike cleared his throat. "Well… I guess I like a girl with a great personality… a charming smile… well, I just think your daughter is amazing," he blurted, and then pursed his lips, worried he'd said something wrong. Charlie glanced up, a smile still on his face. "Those are words I like to hear!" he exclaimed, grinning. "Two more questions for you.

"What, in your mind, is the best gift to give a girl?"

Mike thought about it, trying to calm his nerves. "I'd give a girl flowers and candy. Traditional, but still k-kind of sweet," he replied, internally scolding himself for stuttering.

Charlie nodded, writing it down.

"Last but not least, what is one trait about you that you think my daughter will like?"

"Well, um," Mike said, desperately looking for an answer. He had to dig deep to find an appropriate one. "I think I've got a more sensitive side than most guys."

Charlie frowned. "You think? You sound a little unsure," he added. Mike swallowed loudly. "Sorry, sir, I'm just a little – um, intimidated I guess."

"Finally!" Charlie exclaimed, a grin on his face, "a boy that is intimidated by the father! Alright, you're good to leave."

"Thanks," Mike said, exhaling. He stood up, tripping slightly over the floor on his way out.

"Next is… Dan Gardener?"

The rest of the day followed a similar pattern. Charlie had a group of boys in mind when he called the last guy in. He was thrilled to see who it was.

"Jake, you're up!"

Jacob Black grinned, standing up. He was nearly half a foot taller than Charlie, dressed in the usual – oil splattered jeans and a muscle shirt. "Finally," he crowed, sitting casually in the old chair in front of him.

"I was just thinking the same thing," Charlie admitted.

"Well, shoot me the questions!"

"Nah," Charlie said, "you're okay to leave."

For a moment, Jacob was stunned. "You asked all of the other guys three questions."

Charlie glanced around and then leaned in. "Well, I'm not allowed to tell any of you if you're in or not, so you can see I certainly can't tell you." He winked, and Jacob nodded, a smile spreading over his russet skin. "Ah… well, I hope to hear from you soon… sir," he added as an afterthought, smirking. Charlie took his hand and they shook before Jacob left the room.

The decision was easy as pie as to who would make the final two.

_Like the idea? Comment, I'll post the next chapter soon. I'm still deciding if I want to make separate chapters for each date or not. What do you think?_


	2. Mike Newton

_Enjoy. :)_

Charlie grinned at Edward, who was possessively clinging on to Bella. Bella cuddled right into him, which did slightly irritate her father.

_Oh well_, Charlie thought, _soon it'll be some other guy holding her_.

"Dad, please don't make me do this," Bella pled, her chocolate eyes locked on his. "You know very well this is a waste of our time."

Charlie simply ignored her, smirking at the ceiling with a soda in his hand. "Hey, I know it's traditional for the mother to pick out one of the dates, but MTV is giving me the a-okay to pick both," he said suddenly, realizing he'd forgotten to mention this.

"Mom could have picked one out," Bella said angrily. "You just didn't want her to call this thing off. I'm going to call her now!" She stood up and stalked off to the phone, but was aghast to see it missing. "Cha – Dad! How could you?"

Charlie looked innocently at her. "I have no clue what you're talking about."

The door knocked in time to save Charlie from further television embarrassment. "Looks like date one is here," he interrupted her complaint, walking to the door.

When he opened it, Mike Newton stood, holding flowers and a small box of chocolates. He looked extremely awkward. "Hey, Mike!" Charlie greeted, patting him on his back. Mike stumbled a bit but regained his balance. "Er, hi."

Charlie took a step back and he walked in. The color drained form Bella's face. "Dad… dad, he's my _friend_," she squeaked, emphasizing 'friend' and its importance. Mike was looking at Edward, who must have been intimidating him. He read his mind before deciding he was safe to let Bella go. He untangled his arms and took a step back. "Bye, Bella… don't have _too_ much fun without me," he teased half-heartedly. She gave him a look of discomposure before walking over to Mike.

"I'm doing this to humor you," she reminded Charlie, still agitated. He just waved his hand. "Shoo, off to your date!"

Bella mumbled something under her breath before stalking off with Mike. The door slammed behind them.

"Okay, let's watch some television together, Edward," Charlie said joyfully, patting a seat next to him on the couch. Edward sighed and sat down, not able to get comfortable. Charlie turned on the TV a few minutes later to show Bella and Mike in the car. Bella looked uncomfortable.

"There isn't much to do in Forks," Mike said to her, his voice shaking slightly. "But I hope you like the movies."

Bella faked a smile. "Yeah, a movie sounds great."

Edward knew this date was going downhill fast, so it didn't irk him quite as much. This brought on a whole new wave of displeasure from Charlie.

"Hear that, Edward?" he said, "she wants to go to the movies with him."

Edward stifled a chuckle. "She wants to see the movie," he corrected, though he knew that she would rather be home in her pajamas.

"There you go again, pretending like you know what's on her mind. You aren't a mind reader, so don't pretend like you know what my daughter is thinking."

The irony behind the statement made Edward purse his lips to keep from smiling.

The car pulled into an old, rundown theater on the outskirts of Forks. Bella hadn't even known there _was_ a movie theater near Forks.

No wonder, either… it was still playing the same movies that had gone out of most theaters months ago, and there were no new ones. It was a mess.

Edward, despite his well-known nature of being respectful and polite, was fairly happy that Mike had been dumb enough to take her to the movies in a theater that was barely running.

"Well, it's not much," Mike admitted as he opened Bella's car door. "What movie do you want to see?"

Bella had truthfully seen every movie on the list, but instead of hurting his feelings, she picked out one of the more recent ones. "Let's watch that one."

Charlie looked slightly disappointed by Mike's choice of a date, but was secretly hoping Bella would like the rustic theater anyway.

Until he saw that there were cracks in the walls and sticky cobwebs on the ceiling.

Edward snickered, leaning back for the first time and enjoying this. He only wished he could take Bella out of that miserable place, because she was obviously disgruntled by the broken down mess.

Mike at least bought her popcorn and a large drink from the bored looking teenager at the concessions counter.

The movie played on and on, and MTV crews told Charlie that most of it would probably be deleted from the show. He sighed, watching Bella and Mike with a tiny bit of hope still in his heart.

Edward noticed that Mike had leaned in more to Bella now, and had his hand very close to hers. Her posture let him know that she knew this too.

Finally, Mike tried it, grabbing her hand. She looked down a few times and then slyly pulled her hand out. "I need to use the bathroom, okay Mike? Want anything from the stands?"

"No," Mike sighed. "Hurry back," he added glumly as Bella hurried up the ramp to the door. The crew stayed to video Mike as he blushed. He'd just been rejected on film.

The rest of the date was boring, as Bella took frequent trips to the bathroom and to refill her drink. Mike had lost hope as Charlie had. Charlie was regretting his first choice. That was one less chance she'd pick one of his dates.

Edward looked at him. "You'd rather she date Mike than me?"

Charlie glanced over to Edward, remembering his presence. "At least he wouldn't break her heart," he snapped, irritated by the long, useless date he'd just witnessed. Edward flinched, and a memory came to him. He remembered the used image of a broken Bella, curled up on the ground. Jacob had displayed Sam's image on more than one occasion to torture him with it.

So Edward could not be upset with Charlie for being angry with him.

"Charlie, I will never again hurt Bella's feelings," Edward said sincerely. "Is this why you hate me so much?"

Obviously Edward knew the truth, but he wanted Charlie to say it out loud.

Charlie grumbled wordlessly before replying. "I don't really _hate _you," he said despite himself. "It's more like a strong dislike for the guy that hurt my daughter's feelings."

Edward didn't reply, knowing Charlie wouldn't budge on these feelings for a long time.

Finally, the date ended. Mike sighed. "Bella, I'm sorry. I know we're only friends," he said, disappointed he'd not gotten the response he'd wanted on the date.

Bella looked at the boy that had tried so long to get her attention and a simple date with her. He now had it and she couldn't even try to enjoy just being friends with him.

"It's okay, Mike… I had a good time," she lied, patting his arm. Then she put her hands in her pockets.

The car ride home was filled with some forced conversation. Edward waited for the sound of his car and thoughts.

When they pulled in, Edward waited impatiently for the door to open so he could have his Bella again. When it did, Bella just about jogged to meet him on the couch.

"Were you mean to him?" she demanded from Charlie, resting her head on Edward's shoulder.

Edward chuckled. "No, we did fine."

Charlie harrumphed and crossed his arms. Then he perked up a little. "Well, date number two is coming in little less than an hour," he reminded them. He glanced at Edward, who froze. He read Charlie's mind and was now infuriated, though he should have expected this decision.

Holding Bella tightly to him, he stared at the ceiling and hoped to God he wouldn't do something stupid and unconventional in front of the cameras tonight.

_I know this one was pretty boring... but it's MIKE NEWTON XD Obviously next chapter I'll make it more exciting :) Review!_


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